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Write a great Maid of Honor speech for your sister
Step-by-step help, a maid of honor speech outline template to use, with a FREE printable and a heartfelt speech example
By: Susan Dugdale
Understandably, many women feel a little nervous about writing a maid of honor speech for their sister.
How do you sincerely share the happiness you feel for her in front of a crowd?
And where do you begin?
It's a big responsibility, but with enough time, (3-4 weeks, or more, to prepare and practice), the process is straightforward and stress-free. Truly.
What's on this page
How to start your maid of honor speech for your sister.
How to brainstorm ideas for the speech.
The five parts of the MOH speech template with examples.
A FREE printable maid of honor speech outline
Frequently asked questions: how long should a speech be...
More MOH resources: more speech examples, poems and readings...
How to start your maid of honor speech
Grab a piece of paper, a pen, or use digital app like Evernote and start with a brainstorming session to collect up the stories and ideas you think you might like to share.
1. How to brainstorm
The brainstorming process is simple. Jot down ideas about what you think you might want to touch on in your speech, just as I've done in the image below.
Allow yourself complete freedom to explore as many potential topics as you can and, as much time as you need.
Recall fond memories. Remember shared experiences: the good times, the hard times and the funny times. Think about her best qualities: the ones you admire her for.
Do not edit or censor your words
Do not edit yourself! Put down whatever comes into your mind. Don't stop to worry about whether it's good, bad or appropriate. You'll review it later, and definitely don't stop to check your spelling.
You do not need to write full sentences or paragraphs, just notes. You want enough words to trigger your memory about what you thought would be a good idea to say and that's all.
Keep going until you can genuinely think of nothing more.
2. Pick the best material from your notes
Now pick the best of these ideas and organize them into the 5 sections of the speech template below. This will give what you say a logical structure: a clear beginning, middle and end.
Obviously, the tone: whether the speech is laugh-out-loud funny, wryly amusing, sentimental or heartfelt and sincere, is something you'll decide for yourself. That's governed by the stories and ideas you choose to share and the language you use to express them.
3. Read an example maid of honor speech for a sister
This example is based on the notes from the brainstorm image above. You'll see it is a blend of playful stories and genuine heartfelt sincerity.
The text of the speech is split into five parts: one for each of the required sections making up the template. As you scroll down the page you'll see it in the green call-out box under each section's explanatory notes.
Part 1. The introduction to your maid of honor sister speech
In the introduction it is customary to identify yourself because there may be guests who don't know you and don't know you are the bride's sister.
Next welcome the guests, thank them for coming, and thank your sister for the privilege of being her maid of honor.
(I've added a personal story to make an immediate connection with those listening and bring a smile! ☺)
1. Introduction
What a day, Mary!
Remember when we were kids, how we dressed up in Mom’s old party dresses? And how we used to put a white tablecloth on our heads and march around, singing, “Here comes the bride, fair fat and wide.”?
Good evening. My name is Jennifer, and this beautiful woman, this stunning bride: the opposite of “fair fat and wide”, is my beloved little sister.
As youngsters, we laughed ourselves silly over that game. Now here we are twenty-five years later.
Not laughing. Mary’s not wearing a tablecloth. And this time it’s for real.
It's a great honor to be asked to speak. Thank you.
Thank you too, to all of you, for coming to share this special day with us. Especially Frank’s family.
We know Mary adores you, almost as much as she does us. It’s wonderful seeing our families all together to celebrate this marriage.
Part 2. History with the bride
Share short stories from your childhood to paint a picture of your relationship, highlighting different facets of her personality and your bond.
Whether you choose to write something funny, serious or sentimental, the most important thing is to be genuine.
2. History with the bride
The pair of us, share thirty years' worth of loyalty and love: with an occasional sisterly quarrel thrown in. The usual sort of thing. Her snitching my favorite pair of jeans, without asking, and looking better in them, when we were 17 and 15 years old. A bit of phone snooping...Nothing major. Certainly nothing a bossy big sister couldn’t handle.
Before I left home, we shared a bedroom for a long time. That means you go through cycles of liking, loving and loathing each other. Sometimes all at once.
The jeans was definitely loathing.
The way she took my side over not eating Brussels sprouts was sisterly solidarity. Mary and I united against parental cruelty! Wonderful!
But what was truly excellent, was our bedtime stories: the ones we told each other. They were hilariously good fun. As soon as Mom turned off the light and closed the door, we’d pick up from where we left off the night before.
A favorite was the classic tale of a prince (handsome) arriving in the nick of time to rescue the beautiful damsel in distress, from some dastardly fellow, or a particularly nasty situation.
(We rejected stories about girls having a fabulous time up to their elbows in grease rebuilding a vintage car in the garage. We wanted lace, lots of it and happily ever after, down the aisle.)
In our stable of handsome princes, the handsomest prince of them all, the one we both swooned over was Darren. Darren was a super-superman created for us, by us. He was brave, brilliant, strong, just like Dad, and let us do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. (Not like Dad.)
Did he ever go out to work? Nah. Did he ever tell us we had to rescue ourselves? No chance.
Darren was always there. Always ready. Always had time and always, always knew what to do. Darren was masculine perfection.
I can’t remember the exact moment when this fine fellow left.
But I do know Frank had quite an act to follow.
Part 3. Life before the groom
This next section focuses on your sister's life and what she was doing before she met her new spouse.
For example, maybe she was busy focused on her career and never really gave enough time to finding a best friend and life-partner.
Or perhaps your sister was having a good time travelling the world when she found her match.
Or did she fall for her good friend, the person next door whom she's known since she was eight?
Stories and subjects to avoid
There are a couple of things to watch out for.
The first is to be mindful about sharing anything that could be embarrassing for either your sister, her new husband, or your family members and friends.
Past relationships, including previous marriages and divorces, are off limits, as is talking about challenges with drug, alcohol or gambling addictions, using 'adult' humor or sexual innuendo, or referring to marriage cynically or negatively.
In addition, please don't fall into the trap of sharing a tale or something about your sister that no one can relate to except for you and her. If you do that, you'll find yourself looking at puzzled faces.
Your goal is to bring the guests together, to have them join you in celebrating the happy couple and their love for each other. To ensure you do that avoid topics that could potentially upset and alienate those listening.
3. Life before the groom
When my sister dreams, she dreams big, and then she makes it her business to have them come true.
High school was followed by college which was followed by the career she’s always wanted: to be an editor and read for a living. The pinnacle of bliss for a 'booky' girl! A job enabling her to bask in the afterglow of a successfully relocated sentence terminal: aka a period or full stop.
I’m proud of what she's achieved, how she balances her life, somehow making time for everything. She's graceful, organized and appears, unrushed. (A trick I need to learn!)
Mary’s a good person, a great friend and, my role model.
Then along came Frank. Was it true love at first sight?
Part 4. The romance
Next, transition to a paragraph about your sister and her husband. How did they meet? How has the groom changed your sister’s life?
You can talk about how inspiring their relationship is to you or share a humorous story involving your sister and new brother-in-law.
This part doesn’t have to be very long. It's necessary because it brings your speech into the present. A good way to conclude this portion is by formally welcoming the groom into your family.
4. The romance
Did she swoon? Was she in a ghastly situation: a set of parentheses too many? And nowhere obvious to put them? You’ll have to ask her yourself.
What I’ve learned about Frank over the last six years...
(Yes, six years! And you all thought it was tough waiting for her to get to the church. 10 minutes. Diddly-squat, compared to what she put him through!)
What I’ve learned leaves us in no doubt he’s earned her hand in his.
This man loves books just as much as she does. Hard to believe, but it’s true. Both of them live by the wisdom: when in doubt go to the library. You’ll find the answer to everything there.
Some people do bar crawls. These guys do libraries. And book stores, and book rescues: tatty, out of print treasures from street stalls.
He’s kind. He’s thoughtful. He loves walking in the country side, chocolate, and his dog, a golden lab called Fido.
We think Fido was the clincher, with dark chocolate close behind. Plus, books, his ability to listen, to laugh...
In short, he knows how to be there for her, day after day, night after night, page after page, chapter after chapter.
Part 5. Conclusion
There are many possibilities for a conclusion. You could end with a quote, a joke, some spiritual advice, a toast or simply say, congratulations.
Do try to keep with the tone you’ve set in the rest of the speech and end with what feels most appropriate for your sister.
5. Conclusion
Darren? Pooh! He’s been well and truly replaced by the real and best thing. We couldn’t possibly imagine a better partner for her. They're a perfect match.
Ladies and gentleman please join me in congratulating Mary and her handsome prince Frank. May they continue to share their love story for many, many happy years.
Get a printable Maid of Honor speech outline
The printable outline will help you organize your speech. Follow the instructions to complete each of the template's five parts.
To get the printable either click on the image below or this link: maid of honor speech outline. (It opens in a new window.)
Questions frequently asked
As well as finding out how to craft their maid of honor speech, and reading a couple of examples, there are a number of frequently asked questions. These are:
1.How long should the speech be?
Keep it between 3-6 minutes. That's approximately between 450-900 words.
There are going to be a number of speeches to fit into the reception schedule - e.g. best man, perhaps father/mother of the bride as well as the groom, and maybe a 'thank you' from the newlyweds. 'Short and sweet' doesn't upset the program of events because you've gone over time. It keeps everyone listening and happy.
The example speech is 859 words long. That will take approximately 5-6 minutes to deliver.
2.What's the best way to manage speech anxiety?
First of all, understand that being a little nervous before giving your speech is quite normal.
Yes, everyone will be looking at you. Yes, everybody will be listening.
However, what you need to remember is you are the focus of their attention purely because you are giving this speech. It's the message you're sharing and how you are delivering it that's important. Not you. You are the conduit - the means of its delivery.
Give yourself time
Beginning to prepare your speech well ahead of time will help. Working under pressure adds to anxiety. Please don't let yourself to procrastinate! That will only result in more stress.
Aim to have your speech prepared and ready for practicing 3-4 weeks ahead. Getting the words down you want to say is part of the process. Practice completes it.
Saying it out loud is the only way you'll discover if it flows naturally from one point to the next, or if it's too long and needs adjusting.
And practicing in front of trusted others will prepare you for the event itself. You'll already have experienced what it feels like to have people watching and listening to you. You'll know how they respond - which bits to slow down on, which parts will make them laugh, or shed a tear...
If you think about your speech as a gift, primarily for your sister, but also for your family and friends you'll want to make it something precious and valued. Doing that well takes time. Please don't skimp on it.
3. What's the best way to handle emotion?
How do you stay cool calm and collected while giving a deeply felt speech?
Given the event and its importance, it's natural to feel emotional.
Repeated practice will help you manage those feelings because you'll know the places in your speech where they are most likely to occur. When, and if they do, pause. Take a deep breath. Breathe out. Take another breath in and continue.
See how to rehearse for more.
Additional MOH speech resources to help
I have other pages you may find useful. For instance:
- Maid of honor speech examples. Explore different styles to find inspiration.
- How to end a Maid of Honor speech: 20 examples. Choose the perfect closing.
- Wedding poems and readings. Add a special touch with a well-chosen poem or reading.
- Writing a bridesmaid speech. Craft a speech if you have a different role.
- General speech preparation. Perfect if you’ve never prepared a speech before.
- How to practice your speech. Deliver your speech confidently and professionally. Practice is key to making it extra special for everyone.
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